Maaf

Satu bulan lagi 28 Juni 2012, dan itu berarti kebersamaan kita hampir 11 tahun. Banyak suka duka yang sudah kita lewati bersama. Baik dan buruk kita sudah sama-sama tahu. Kamu punya banyak arti dalam kehidupanku. Pengorbananmupun sudah tak bisa ku hitung lagi. Kamu slalu bisa membuatku tertawa meski sedang menangis, kamu yang selalu memberikan rasa tenang meski hanya dengan genggaman tangan, kamu yang sering memberi kejutan kepulanganmu dari ibu kota, dan masih banyak lagi hal-hal yang membuatku bahagia yang tak bisa kuungkapkan dengan kata-kata.Terlalu indah mungkin....
Sudah sepekan ini kita berubah, tak ada lagi candamu, tak ada lagi obrolan manjaku di malam hari. Rasanya ada yang hilang ketika tak ada lagi komunikasi yang baik antara orang yang saling menyayangi. Ini baru sepekan, aku tak bisa bayangkan bila harus berubah untuk selamanya, aku tak mau membayangkannya.....
Maafkan aku bila ketidaksengajaanku melukai hatimu, aku benar-benar tak tahu bagian mana dari perkataan dan perbuatanku yang membuat kamu berubah sedemikian membenci aku.
Maafkan aku yang ternyata tak bisa membuatmu bahagia...
Maafkan aku...

Aku RINDU....RINDU canda tawa kamu,,,

RINDU genggaman tangan kamu,,,

RINDU kejutan dari kamu,,,,

RINDU semua hal tentang KAMU

Air

Seperti air, mengikuti arus kemana sungai bermuara, kadang tenang, kadang cepat dan seringkali bergejolak. Tapi hanya itu yang bisa aku lakukan. Aku tak mungkin melawan, aku tak bisa....Aku juga tak mungkin menjauh, aku tak bisa.

"Dalam hidup, akan ada seseorang yg meski telah menyakitimu, kamu tetap bertahan dan berharap dia akan sadar & akhirnya berubah."

Marah

"Engkau yang sedang dibakar oleh kemarahan, ingatlah …
Rasa marah adalah rahmat untuk mentenagai ketegasan mengubah keadaan menjadi lebih baik, bukan untuk menghinakan diri dan merusak hubungan baik dengan sesama"

5 hours ago u wrote that status...

Aku tau itu pasti untuk aku.....

Marahku bukan tanpa sebab

Marahku juga bukan tanpa alasan 

Mungkin menurut kamu bukan sesuatu yang penting

Tapi buat aku ini masalah masa depan

Yang ingin aku rencanakan dari sekarang

Mungkin meurut kamu ini hal sepele

Yang bisa dengan mudah kamu abaikan

Tanpa memikirkan perasaan aku 

Aku ingin berjiwa besar mencoba lupakan semua yang kalian lakukan 

Meski aku tak tau apa yang sebenarnya terjadi antara kalian.

Tapi kenapa masih saja......

Masih saja ada dia diantara kita......

Tolong hargai aku skali ini saja......

Kamu bilang "itu karna kamu g pernah bisa berpikir positif !!!", bagaimana bisa aku berpikir positif sementara kenyataan yang terjadi justru membuatku berpikir negatif tentang kalian.

Married or not you should read this...

 Suka banget cerita di bawah ini, bacanya sampe nangis sesenggukan...T_T
(maap agak panjang dan bahasa inggris - copas dari sebuah web) .. enjoy reading ..

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

" Fix You - COLDPLAY "

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Dia

Dia seorang yang simple, down to earth,  umurnya jauh dibawah aku, tapi dia bisa lebih dewasa. Ingat nasehat dia " Bukan masalah etis ato g etis, tapi nanti efeknya apa semisal mba tanya, sebenarnya kalo bisa si, kalo emang dia dah keliatan fokus ke mba, ya coba mba yang berjiwa besar, maafin mereka..apapun yang pernah mereka lakuin, walaupun mba g tau apa yang sebenernya terjadi ma mereka.." Seketika aku berkata dalam hati "Wah ni anak wise banget...". Dia orang yang pengertian, saat aku senang atapun sedih selalu mau mendengarkan ceritaku, padahal mungkin bagi dia cerita itu sangat tidak penting, sangat tidak menarik dan membosankan. Dia lumayan jadi penghibur aku saat aku stress dengan pekerjaan, merasa lelah dengan hidup dan suatu hubungan. Rasanya seperti ada click diantara aku dan dia. Kami sama-sama menyukai LETTO, sama-sama suka bola (meski aku bukan seorang yang fanatik), sama- sama pernah ngamen, sama-sama Long Distance Relationship, sama-sama g suka melon, sama- sama suka musik, sama-sama suka nonton film, dan banyak lagi....

 " Charles Joseph John "Joe" Hart"

Mati Rasa

Tak bisa lagi bedakan cinta dengan benci, ternyata memang benar jaraknya hanya sejengkal.
Aku tak menangis lagi meski kau sakiti untuk kesekian kali.

50 juta

Dua bulan yang lalu ada yang bikin orang sekantor gregetan ma aku gara-ga aku balikin uang 50 juta ke seorang teller Bank Swasta ternama karena dia salah ngitung. Emang setoran waktu itu lumayan bikin ngileeerrrr buat sekelas karyawan kaya aku and even my boss...hemmmm, kalo di kira-kira yaaaa seharga 1 unit mobil Ni***n Juke 1.5 CVT RX plus 1 unit motor baru. Kejadiannya gini,,,aku kasi uangnya ke si teller, dia dah itung semua n pake mesin hitung pula, pas transaksi selesai aku cek validasinya dah sama smua ma yang disetorin, so aku balik kekantor dunx..Selang satu jam kemudian pas mo ambil sesuatu di tas, aku kaget, shock, terperangah dan terperanjat (halaaah lebay...) " Lho kok masi ada uang ditasku...?????" Spontan langsung aku cek slip setoran n validasinya, tapi dah bener smua. Saat itu yang ada di otakku  " aku harus balik lagi ke Bank n kasi uang itu ke si teller". Tanpa pikir panjang aku balik lagi ke Bank n nyerahin tu uang ke head teller, trus mereka minta no aku buat konfirm setelah closing akhir hari. Sore harinya si teller telp n konfirm kalo uangnya klop. Masalah finish dooong....tapi tetep aja aku jadi bahan olokan gara-gara balikin tuh duit. Hemmmmm..... si boss aja sampe GALAU,xixixi