Unbelievable

Menikah yg dulu hanya mimpi buat saya,dalam waktu dua minggu lagi akan jadi kenyataan. Rasanya masih g percaya, proses yang kami jalani bener-bener sesuatu banget. Dulunya nothing dan sebentar lagi jadi something.
G percaya aja, dia yang dulu sangat-sangat susah diajak ngobrol tentang masa depan, sekarang begitu antusias dan sangat tidak sabar menunggu waktunya tiba. You know it feels like dream come true. Dan ternyata kesabaran saya berbuah manis :) . Pernikahan kami akan jadi kado ulang tahun terindah untuk ulang tahun ke-28 saya bulan depan.
" Ya Allah mudahkanlah jalan kami..."

Tinggal satu bulan lagi,sudah setengah perjalanan. And it's getting harder... When everything almost clear,then someone talk something and ruin everything. Oh God... Is that true? Atau cuma mitos? Jawa itu emang penuh mitos, salah satunya g boleh nikahlah klo abis bangun rumah, paling g dimundurin 1 bulaaaan ajja :(
Lemes banget dengernya... Sebenernya sih g percaya yg kaya gitu,tp bapak jd ragu-ragu karna yg bilang kaya gitu udah 3 orang.
Diluar bener ato gaknya mitos itu, aku tetep yakin g akan terjadi apa-apa selama niatnya baik. Dan g akan ngerubah keputusan buat nikah bulan depan.
Ya Allah lindungi kami, lancarkan jalan kami untuk melaksanakan ibadah ini. Amin YRA.
10.10.12

2 bulan jelang hari H

10 September 2012, 2 bulan menjelang hari H. Banyak yg mesti disiapin, dan ternyata juga g mudah. Lumayan menantang nih, secara harus extrasabar padahal saya bukan orang yg bisa sabar. Ah mudah-mudahan sih g ngaruh ma hubungan ini. Dari kain kebaya yg salah beli, tapi terselamatkan karena penjahit yg lumayan cerdas. Highheels,manset kaos dan kerudung warna putih tulang yang ternyata susah di cari. Sampe harga make up yg selangit menurut saya dan bikin suasana minggu malam jd g well. Menikmati proses ini, mudah-mudahan sih g bikin berat badan saya turun lg.

Jaga hatimu

Mungkin saat yg paling berat setelah kita bertemu adalah saat kita harus berpisah lg....
It sometimes made me cry....karna harus menjalani hidup tanpa kamu disini...meski tak untuk selamanya tapi lumayan membuat aku merasa kehilangan.
Seperti suatu senja beberapa hari yg lalu...
Kembali melepasmu untuk masa depan kita..
Berat....inginku kamu tetap saja disini atau aku ikut denganmu, tapi kita sama-sama punya tanggung jawab yg tak mungkin kita tinggalkan begitu saja.
Saat itu kamu berkata "Rasanya tak ingin kembali kesana..."
Aku menatapmu yg sesekali membelai rambut panjangku,dan mata itu..... Ah...aku tahu yg kamu rasakan sayang...karna akupun merasakan yg sama denganmu.
Aku tak bisa berkata banyak,hanya diam dan aku yakin kamu tahu apa yg aku pikirkan dan rasakan...
Suara deru mesin bus sudah menantimu dan bersiap membawamu ksana...
Dan aku hanya bisa merelakanmu pergi senja itu, mendoakanmu dan berharap kamu kembali secepatnya.
Tak berapa lama kamu menelponku,,terdengar sayup-sayup suara pengamen jalanan...

"Kau jaga slalu hatimu..
Saat jauh dariku...
Tunggu aku kembali..."

Selamat ulang tahun

Pagi mas.....
Hari ini tepat 28 tahun usia mas..
Semoga dengan bertambahnya usia mas, semakin bertambah pula kedewasaan dan keimanan mas kepada Allah SWT.
Mudah-mudahan Allah SWT selalu memberikan kemudahan di setiap perkara, melindungi disetiap langkah ms, dan melancarkan jalan rizki mas.
Selamat ulang tahun msyanx...
I know we're not as close as yesterday..
But the only important thing is my love for you has never changed.
I hope we can fix our relationship and make everything better.

280601-280612

Pagi sayang....
Apa kabarmu?
Ingatkah kamu 11 tahun yang lalu.....28 Juni 2001
Saat itu sepulang dari sekolah aku dan kamu berjalan
Menyusuri jalan yang memang tiap hari aku dan kamu lalui
Kamu dengan harap-harap cemas menunggu jawabanku,,,
Jawaban yang mengubah hari- hari kita selanjutnya.
Dengan perasaan yang sulit untuk diungkapkan kata-kata..
Aku menerimamu masuk dalam kehidupanku
Dan mengubah aku dan kamu menjadi "KITA"
Lalu hari-hari kita berubah....
Banyak tawa mengisi hari kita
Sangat menyenangkan.....
Kadang ada juga rasa cemburu yang muncul
Tapi entah mengapa kita bisa dengan mudah mengatasinya...
Hingga 1 tahun pertama semuanya baik-baik saja
Bahkan menginjak tahun ke 11 ini
Meski banyak masalah datang
Kita masih tetap bersama meski jarak memisahkan
Berharap bisa terus bersama sampai raga tak lagi ada
Terima kasih,,,
Terima kasih telah menjadi bagian dalam kehidupan ini
Kehidupan yang tak mudah untuk ku lalui...

Semoga Tuhan senantiasa melimpahkan cinta-Nya dihatimu untukku, melindungi dalam setiap langkahmu, memberikanmu kesehatan, dan melancarkan rizkimu.Amin.

Permintaan hati

Pagi ini cerah meski tak secerah hatiku...
Mudah-mudahan kamu jg mengalami pagi yg cerah sepertiku ...

Tuhan....
Aku tak ingin berharap lebih
Aku hanya ingin hidupku bahagia
With or without him

Tuhan...
Aku tak ingin meminta sesuatu yang muluk-muluk
Aku hanya ingin yang terbaik untuk kami
Agar aku bisa menjalani sisa hidupku dengan lebih bermakna

Watch "[Revolvere Project] Tentang Kita - HD" on YouTube

Mom

Gud nite mom.....
Apa kabar? Aku harap engkau baik-baik saja.
Sudah hampir 2 tahun kita tak bertemu, sudah lebih dari 2 bulan kita tak saling berkirim pesan, terakhir kali ketika aku meminta restumu untuk sebuah rencana masa depan. Inginku engkau ada disini ditengah keluarga kita, menjadi tempatku berkeluh kesah tentang semua hal, menjadi sosok seorang ibu yang sekaligus bisa menjadi teman. Apalagi saat rencana masa depan itu semakin dekat. Aku butuh engkau, tapi itu semua jauh diluar kemampuanku, aku tak bisa memaksamu tinggal. Entah karena ego yang terlalu tinggi atau karena luka yang sampai saat ini masih kau rasakan.
Mom...aku rindu suasana rumah seperti dulu, 13 tahun yang lalu....
Mom...wherever you are, I always love you and pray the best for you

"Mother How Are You Today"

Mother, how are you today?
Here is a note from your daughter.
With me everything is ok.
Mother, how are you today?
Mother, don't worry, I'm fine.
Promise to see you this summer.
This time there will be no delay.
Mother, how are you today?

I found the man of my dreams.
Next time you will get to know him.
Many things happened while I was away.
Mother, how are you today? 

by Maywood
 

between heart and mind

" If you don't care bout how I feel, I don't care it anymore!!!"

It's sounds like easy to say,,, but it's hard to do. Pengen bisa kaya gitu, mungkin bisa bikin saya ngerasa lebih baik. But when you let your heart win than your mind, it won't be easy. Karena hati, pikiran dan perasaan kadang ga sejalan. Mungkin hati ini tulus mencintai kamu tapi pikiran tak semudah itu memberikan kepercayaan dan perasaan kadang membuat kita semakin bimbang.

"No One Really Wins"

Welcome love, I have made a place for you here
I know every word they say.
I know how they want to make you change.

Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me
I can love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

It's a fight between my heart and mind,
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time

If you don't find the love you want,
if I have acted ungracefully
I don't want to see you go
I never meant to make you want to leave

But go if you want.
Make your way straight to the door.
I hope that you look back before you go
'cause grace looks back before it starts to leave

It's a fight between my heart and mind,
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time

Change if you want, but don't you go and change for me
I will love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

It's a fight between my heart and mind
No one really wins this time
No one really wins this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time
In the endless fight of grace and pride
I don't want to win this time
I don't want to win this time 

by COPELAND

Won't Give Up

I never thought that it would be so hard .
I forgot how many times these tears falling down my face
Then I found my self standing still right here.
Can't shed  tears anymore....take it, let it flow
I just don't wanna give up
And hope tomorrow better than today

"I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Maaf

Satu bulan lagi 28 Juni 2012, dan itu berarti kebersamaan kita hampir 11 tahun. Banyak suka duka yang sudah kita lewati bersama. Baik dan buruk kita sudah sama-sama tahu. Kamu punya banyak arti dalam kehidupanku. Pengorbananmupun sudah tak bisa ku hitung lagi. Kamu slalu bisa membuatku tertawa meski sedang menangis, kamu yang selalu memberikan rasa tenang meski hanya dengan genggaman tangan, kamu yang sering memberi kejutan kepulanganmu dari ibu kota, dan masih banyak lagi hal-hal yang membuatku bahagia yang tak bisa kuungkapkan dengan kata-kata.Terlalu indah mungkin....
Sudah sepekan ini kita berubah, tak ada lagi candamu, tak ada lagi obrolan manjaku di malam hari. Rasanya ada yang hilang ketika tak ada lagi komunikasi yang baik antara orang yang saling menyayangi. Ini baru sepekan, aku tak bisa bayangkan bila harus berubah untuk selamanya, aku tak mau membayangkannya.....
Maafkan aku bila ketidaksengajaanku melukai hatimu, aku benar-benar tak tahu bagian mana dari perkataan dan perbuatanku yang membuat kamu berubah sedemikian membenci aku.
Maafkan aku yang ternyata tak bisa membuatmu bahagia...
Maafkan aku...

Aku RINDU....RINDU canda tawa kamu,,,

RINDU genggaman tangan kamu,,,

RINDU kejutan dari kamu,,,,

RINDU semua hal tentang KAMU

Air

Seperti air, mengikuti arus kemana sungai bermuara, kadang tenang, kadang cepat dan seringkali bergejolak. Tapi hanya itu yang bisa aku lakukan. Aku tak mungkin melawan, aku tak bisa....Aku juga tak mungkin menjauh, aku tak bisa.

"Dalam hidup, akan ada seseorang yg meski telah menyakitimu, kamu tetap bertahan dan berharap dia akan sadar & akhirnya berubah."

Marah

"Engkau yang sedang dibakar oleh kemarahan, ingatlah …
Rasa marah adalah rahmat untuk mentenagai ketegasan mengubah keadaan menjadi lebih baik, bukan untuk menghinakan diri dan merusak hubungan baik dengan sesama"

5 hours ago u wrote that status...

Aku tau itu pasti untuk aku.....

Marahku bukan tanpa sebab

Marahku juga bukan tanpa alasan 

Mungkin menurut kamu bukan sesuatu yang penting

Tapi buat aku ini masalah masa depan

Yang ingin aku rencanakan dari sekarang

Mungkin meurut kamu ini hal sepele

Yang bisa dengan mudah kamu abaikan

Tanpa memikirkan perasaan aku 

Aku ingin berjiwa besar mencoba lupakan semua yang kalian lakukan 

Meski aku tak tau apa yang sebenarnya terjadi antara kalian.

Tapi kenapa masih saja......

Masih saja ada dia diantara kita......

Tolong hargai aku skali ini saja......

Kamu bilang "itu karna kamu g pernah bisa berpikir positif !!!", bagaimana bisa aku berpikir positif sementara kenyataan yang terjadi justru membuatku berpikir negatif tentang kalian.

Married or not you should read this...

 Suka banget cerita di bawah ini, bacanya sampe nangis sesenggukan...T_T
(maap agak panjang dan bahasa inggris - copas dari sebuah web) .. enjoy reading ..

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

" Fix You - COLDPLAY "

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Dia

Dia seorang yang simple, down to earth,  umurnya jauh dibawah aku, tapi dia bisa lebih dewasa. Ingat nasehat dia " Bukan masalah etis ato g etis, tapi nanti efeknya apa semisal mba tanya, sebenarnya kalo bisa si, kalo emang dia dah keliatan fokus ke mba, ya coba mba yang berjiwa besar, maafin mereka..apapun yang pernah mereka lakuin, walaupun mba g tau apa yang sebenernya terjadi ma mereka.." Seketika aku berkata dalam hati "Wah ni anak wise banget...". Dia orang yang pengertian, saat aku senang atapun sedih selalu mau mendengarkan ceritaku, padahal mungkin bagi dia cerita itu sangat tidak penting, sangat tidak menarik dan membosankan. Dia lumayan jadi penghibur aku saat aku stress dengan pekerjaan, merasa lelah dengan hidup dan suatu hubungan. Rasanya seperti ada click diantara aku dan dia. Kami sama-sama menyukai LETTO, sama-sama suka bola (meski aku bukan seorang yang fanatik), sama- sama pernah ngamen, sama-sama Long Distance Relationship, sama-sama g suka melon, sama- sama suka musik, sama-sama suka nonton film, dan banyak lagi....

 " Charles Joseph John "Joe" Hart"

Mati Rasa

Tak bisa lagi bedakan cinta dengan benci, ternyata memang benar jaraknya hanya sejengkal.
Aku tak menangis lagi meski kau sakiti untuk kesekian kali.

50 juta

Dua bulan yang lalu ada yang bikin orang sekantor gregetan ma aku gara-ga aku balikin uang 50 juta ke seorang teller Bank Swasta ternama karena dia salah ngitung. Emang setoran waktu itu lumayan bikin ngileeerrrr buat sekelas karyawan kaya aku and even my boss...hemmmm, kalo di kira-kira yaaaa seharga 1 unit mobil Ni***n Juke 1.5 CVT RX plus 1 unit motor baru. Kejadiannya gini,,,aku kasi uangnya ke si teller, dia dah itung semua n pake mesin hitung pula, pas transaksi selesai aku cek validasinya dah sama smua ma yang disetorin, so aku balik kekantor dunx..Selang satu jam kemudian pas mo ambil sesuatu di tas, aku kaget, shock, terperangah dan terperanjat (halaaah lebay...) " Lho kok masi ada uang ditasku...?????" Spontan langsung aku cek slip setoran n validasinya, tapi dah bener smua. Saat itu yang ada di otakku  " aku harus balik lagi ke Bank n kasi uang itu ke si teller". Tanpa pikir panjang aku balik lagi ke Bank n nyerahin tu uang ke head teller, trus mereka minta no aku buat konfirm setelah closing akhir hari. Sore harinya si teller telp n konfirm kalo uangnya klop. Masalah finish dooong....tapi tetep aja aku jadi bahan olokan gara-gara balikin tuh duit. Hemmmmm..... si boss aja sampe GALAU,xixixi

Dampa a.k.a Herpes

Rabu pagi ada 2 hal yang bikin aku stress, first jerawat di pipiku yang makin besar and the 2nd is ada luka di wajah dan leherku yang entah karena apa....:(
Luka itu rasanya panas, gatal kalo orang jowo bilang "gatel kemreyek" wah g karuan deh pokoknya.
Setelah diperhatiin ternyata aku kena Herpes yang disebut juga shingles. Di kalangan awam populer atau lebih dikenal dengan sebutan “dampa” atau “cacar air”. Herpes zoster merupakan infeksi virus yang akut pada bagian dermatoma (terutama dada dan leher) dan saraf. Disebabkan oleh virus varicella zoster (virus yang juga menyebabkan penyakit varicella atau cacar/chickenpox).
Biar g nyebar kemana-mana, akhirnya aku periksain ke dokter and you know what ternyata obat yang aku harus minum tu ada 4 macem :  acyclovir 400mg 3x sehari, @2 tablet, stimuno cap (vitamin buat jaga daya tahan tubuh, karena herpes akan bertahan kalo daya tahan tubuh kita menurun), methyl prednisolone 4mg (pengurang rasa gatal), and the last is ranitidine (obat ini dikasi dokter kalo kita punya penyakit maag).
Sebenarnya ada cara yang kata orang tua jaman dulu lumayan manjur yaitu disembur sama janda yang dapet perjaka,heheh,,,it sounds funny. But i did that suggestion many years ago,,and it works. :D
Karna sekarang susye cari janda yang dapet perjaka,,,mau g mau aku harus menelan pil pahit deh #ini beneran pahit soalnya minum obat. Moga2 setelah minum obat, herpes ini bisa segera lenyap dari wajah dan leher ku, amin.

Pernikahan

Setiap orang yang masih lajang pasti suatu saat menginginkan pernikahan, tak terkecuali saya. Secara umur saya sudah dikatakan cukup matang untuk menjalani sebuah pernikahan, bahkan bisa dikatakan telat karena teman - teman dikantor sering mengejek saya mengenai hal itu. At first sih saya biasa saja menanggapinya bahkan amat santai, tapi kalo ejekan itu terlontar setiap hari, lama - lama kepikiran juga. Saya lalu bertanya pada diri sendiri " Jadi kapan saya dan dia menikah???", dan jawaban yang saya dapatkan hanya "Entah...".

Tak berhenti disitu, saya pun mencoba membicarakannya dengan orang yang saya harap dia menjadi pendamping petama dan terakhir dalam hidup saya. Lalu jawaban yang saya dapatkan sama sekali tidak memberikan ketenangan dalam batin saya. Bahkan membuat saya berpikir "Ah mungkin menikah hanya sebuah mimpi bagi saya".  

Di luar hal itu (pembicaraan saya dan dia) ada hal - hal lain yang juga menjadi faktor penyebab pernikahan bagi saya hanya sebuah mimpi. Adalah keluarga, bukan karena mereka tidak mendukung hubungan saya dan dia tapi karena keadaan keluarga saya bisa dibilang tak seperti keluarga pada umumnya. Terkadang muncul pertanyaan "Apa keluarga dia mau menerima saya yang berasal dari keluarga seperti ini...??" Kadang merasa tak adil dengan keadaan ini, tapi kembali saya teringat seseorang pernah berkata "You don't have to worry about your life, it has been settled down, all you need is just a little patience". 

Dan saya percaya saya bisa lalui ini semua "Dreams never come true if you don't believe in yourself". Setiap orang berhak bermimpi dan mewujudkan mimpi itu. Mungkin menikah saat ini hanya menjadi mimpi bagi saya, tapi suatu saat saya percaya.....saya akan mewujudkan mimpi itu bersama dia yang saya harap bisa menjadi pendamping pertama dan terakhir dalam hidup saya dan menjadi Imam yang baik untuk keluarga kami kelak

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1riM-xmnfQ.

A little rain in my story

A little rain in my story saya pilih sebagai judul blog saya, kalimat itu seakan mewakili apa yang saya rasakan dan saya alami dalam kehidupan saya. Setiap orang pasti punya masalah dan bagi saya masalah itu lebih terasa as a little rain. Dari yang kecil-kecil itu maka kita akan bisa menghadapi masalah besar dengan lebih kuat dan bijaksana. :)